I once drank fireball on the rocks for a photo shoot. It was cool. Almost as cool as the sight of a long weekend on the horizon. Namaste y’all. 🥃
This farm hike was SICK, like Jack’s diaper when we got back to the car two miles later.
Is this another haircut post? Maybe. Thank god 🙏 for @jillian .colbert. She cut about 10 pounds of hair, dust and maybe a stray tortilla chip off of my head and it feels GLORIOUS. Now to celebrate im going to put on a mask and CRUSH this grocery store errand. Cause im a winner. And 2020 is awful.
STOIC, a new fragrance available at Baby Gap.
Last nights dumb idea brain dump before my cocktail of Zyrtec + Melatonin kicked in.
If I have to empty the dishwasher one more god damn time.
If you hold a smokey quartz up to your forehead and close your eyes all your fears, anxieties and doubts rush to the top of your brain. You then find yourself having a lovely panic attack and if you’re lucky later in the day your wife will ask you “we’re you crying in the shower again?” Like is that so bad? And she’ll say “literally yes.” Crystals truly are a gift. Namaste everybody. 🙏 #corona #stressrelief #crystals #wishtheyworked #namaste #healing #tips
Hey all you cool cats and kittens. I’m launching a new channel specifically for tv and movie recos. It’s only stuff that I like and that you can watch while sitting on your hot ass. Start following @colbert_home_video today! Content coming soon! Special thanks @beccabyhand @beccasny for the sick new logo 🎬📺👏💃🎉
Those first few hang outs are gonna be interesting. #tigerkingnetflix
No wonder we get along @danielleordanni
Everyone in the class got a card and some heart candies and it was a blast. Now it’s boyfriends and husbands running around like psychos to get last-minute flowers and single women doing some negative reflecting. Stay strong y’all. Only 14 hours left. Thanks a lot Hallmark! We don’t choo-choo-chooooose you.
With Valentines Day just around the corner we’ve got new classes on the schedule to get you ready for the big night such as: “Strippercize” “What the Hell is New on Netflix?” And back by popular demand: “Just Thrust 30” Sincerely, Colbert’s Basement Gym
This is why I like my weed doctor more. He doesn’t ask me to disrobe and all of our appointments are done in the Best Buy parking lot.
In lieu of flowers please send Girl Scout cookies and fireball.
Everyone: “how should we sit?” . . . Kathy (in the black top ): “Legs crossed to the side, torso turned, facing camera.... Trust me. I read about it in People magazine.” . . . Do as Kathy does. Life is too short to just “wing it.”
Blue Man Group